"You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on."
Joe E Lewis.
"Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut."
Ernest Hemmingway.
There's nothing wrong with sobriety in moderation."
John Ciandi
"The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind."
Humprey Bogart.
"Work is the curse of the drinking classes."
Oscar Wilde.
"He was a wise man who invented beer."
Plato.
"I've stopped drinking, but only while I'm asleep."
George Best.
"A woman drove me to drink, and I hadn't even the courtesy to thank her."
W.C. Fields
"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. They wake up in the morning and that's the best they're going to feel all day."
Frank Sinatra.
"The difference between a drunk and a alcoholic is that a drunk doesn't have to attend all those meetings." Arthur Lewis.
The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a beer bottle, they're on TV."
Homer Simpson.
"An alcoholic is anyone you don't like who drinks more than you do."
Dylan Thomas.
"Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times."
Mark Twain.
"I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me."
Hunter S Thompson.
"My dad was the town drunk. Most of the time that's not so bad; but New York City?"
Henry Youngman.
"I drink therefore I am."
WC Fields
Reality is an illusion created by a lack of alcohol."
NF Simpson.
"I'd rather have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal labotomy."
Fred Allen.
"I once shook hands with Pat Boone and my whole right side sobered up."
Dean Martin.
"Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time."
Catherine Zandonella.
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
Benjamin Franklin.
"They who drink beer will think beer."
Washington Irving.
"If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs."
David Daye.
"I'm not a heavy drinker, I can sometimes go for hours without touching a drop."
Noel Coward.
"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
Henny Youngman.
"I drink to make other people interesting."
George Jean Nathan.
"Without
question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh,
I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel
does not go nearly as well with pizza."
Dave Barry.
Actually it only takes me one drink to get drunk. The trouble is I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or fourteenth."
George Burns
"I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go for a week without a drink."
Joe E Lewis.
"I have been advised my the best medical authority, at my age, not to attempt to give up alcohol."
WC Fields
"The reason I drink is because when I'm sober I think I'm Eddie Fisher."
Dean Martin
"I can resist everything except temptation."
Oscar Wilde.
"I got so wasted one night I waited for the Stop sign to change, and it did."
Steve Krabitz
Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 1862!
Anonymous
To some its a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group.
Anonymous
24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?
Stephen Wright
An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with the fools he must come in contact with every day.
Ernest Hemingway
"An oppressive government is more to be feared than a tiger, or a beer."-
Confucius
"May the roof above us never fall in, and may we friends gathered below never fall out."
-Old Irish Blessing
"May
your glass be ever full. May the roof over your head be always strong.
And may you be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows you're
dead."
-Old Irish Toast
"A bar is better than a newspaper for public discussion."-
Jim Parker, on the importance of a healthy pub culture
"...there
is only one game at the heart of America and that is baseball, and only
one beverage to be found sloshing at the depths of our national soul
and that is beer."
-Peter Richmond
"Beer needs baseball, and baseball needs beer - it has always been thus."
-Peter Richmond
"I never met a pub I didn't like."
-Pete Slosberg, Founder of Pete's Brewing Company
"[I recommend]… bread, meat, vegetables and beer."
-Sophocles' philosophy of a moderate diet
"This is grain, which any fool can eat, but for which the Lord intended a more divine means of consumption... Beer!"-
Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves, Friar Tuck
"Fermentation may have been a greater discovery than fire."
-David Rains Wallace
"Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world."
-Kaiser Welhelm
"Beer: So much more than just a breakfast drink."
-Whitstran Brewery sign
"You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline -
it helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer."-
Frank Zappa
"People who drink light 'beer' don't like the taste of beer; they just like to pee alot."
-Capital Brewery, Middleton, WI
"Beer
will always have a definite role in the diet of an individual and can
be considered a cog in the wheel of nutritional foods."
-Bruce Carlton